a peak into the mind of yours truly

theangrytherapist:

Men, foreplay starts right when you wake up.  You must get in her head if you want to get… well you know.  I am not saying this as a tactic.  You actually have to mean what you say or it will backfire.  If you can’t mean what you say, then there’s other things you guys need to work on before getting to this point. 

I can’t tell you what to say or do.  That’s where you bring “you” to the table and when I say “you”, I mean uniquely you.  Don’t copy something you saw or heard or read on a blog.  You will become the Dane Cook of foreplay and that’s not sexy.  If you don’t know what uniquely you is, again more work to be done on yourself before you get here.    

Here’s an example of something I may say.  ”You will receive a series of notes from me today.  They may be on your phone or in the sky.  But they will most likely be wildly inappropriate.”  Of course, after I kiss her softly on the lips and tell her that I am proud of her.  And I would be specific and mean every single word.  Or I wouldn’t say it.  

Now she leaves knowing she is loved and expecting those “notes”.  You have accomplished the set up.  Now, time for the pay off.  That’s the challenge.  The more fun, creative, naughty you can be, the more connected she will FEEL.  The more connected she feels, the more she will want to rip your clothes off when she gets home.

Okay, obviously she doesn’t expect writing in the sky.  So there’s what I would do.  I would or have already called sky writers.  Yes, dead serious.  That last text would just say “look up”.  But what if it’s not a special occasion?  It shouldn’t be.  That’s what will make it memorable.  And if you know me, what I hire the skywriter to write in the sky will be wildly inappropriate.  But also meaningful. 

Get where I’m going with this?  

Do the unexpected.  

But make sure it contains these ingredients.

- Humor.

- Heart.

- “YOU”

- And the just because factor.

Now of course you can’t hire sky writers every day.  But you can do a version of this once or twice a week.  You can have lunched delivered to her and ask the person delivering it to write something on the bottom of the bag and give him an extra tip.  They will do it.  I’ve done it.  If not, find a restaurant that will.  That’s what foreplay is.  Little shots at the heart, reminders that THEY ARE NOT DOING LIFE ALONE.  And that, men, is what they are thirsty for.  The more you give them that in a pure and honest way, the more they will fulfill any fantasy you want.  In a pure and honest way.  Not because you asked or they feel they have to.  Get this engine going and it will be on like Donkey Kong.

Men, if this dance sounds completely foreign to you, I think it’s time to ante up.  Or you don’t belong to sit at the table.  

If you want your girl to say Brad Pitt who?  Johnny Depp whatever.  This is the kind of… and I’m not going to say work because it shouldn’t feel like work… commitment / investment it takes.

And finally, if you are not interested in this kind of investment / commitment, then you are either with the wrong girl or not interested in mind blowing sex.

- Angry

(Source: theangrytherapist)

Posted 8 months ago — 137 notes